Posted by: mariabro | April 17, 2011

Jolt Justification

Perhaps it’s a defense mechanism.  But a month after the “great quake” and countless aftershocks I am finding my own way of managing.  Yesterday, after 4 days of calm, we had a little 5.8 jolt.  Just to keep us on our toes.  Just when our hearts started to beat normally again.  I did what I usually do, called my children, hugged them and waited for it to stop.  It was sharp but quick.  As I hugged my son he looked up at me and asked, “can I go now?”  Not knowing what else to do, I agreed and he went back to his video game.  And that’s when I started to think, maybe I am getting used to this?  Actually, maybe it is a regular reminder to me to not take anything for granted? Each hug and each good night takes on more meaning.  Each jolt reminds me that I am living life on the edge.  And living it pretty fully.  Tokyo is an amazing city and Japan is a wonderful country.  Nothing great comes without risk.  To achieve great things you must always take some risk.  There’s no such thing as a free lunch.  Blah, blah, blah.  But it helped me to  realize that  I would rather live life fully, albeit on the edge, than in complete safety and mediocrity.  I know this may be my way of dealing with the chronic stress of  continued earthquakes and the threat of nuclear radiation.  But my heart doesn’t race as much as it used to after each aftershock.  I don’t threaten to move home and leave my husband in Tokyo (as much).  I enjoy the sunshine, blue skies and fluttering snowfall of the ephemeral cherry blossom.  And I try to live life (OMG, I’m Oprah) fully in the moment.  Nothing like a jolt to keep it real.

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